Percy Jackson and the Greek gods / Rick Riordan

The beginning and stuff -- The golden age of cannibalism -- The Olympians bash some heads -- Hestia chooses bachelor number zero -- Demeter turns into Grainzilla -- Persephone marries her stalker (or, Demeter, the sequel) -- Hera gets a little cuckoo -- Hades does home improvement --Poseidon gets salty -- Zeus kills everyone -- Athena adopts a handkerchief -- You gotta love Aphrodite -- Ares, the manly man's manly man -- Hephaestus makes me a golden llama (not really, but he totally should) -- Apollo sings and dances and shoots people -- Artemis unleashes the death pig -- Hermes goes to juvie -- Dionysus conquers the world with a refreshing beverage.

A publisher in New York asked me to write down what I know about the Greek gods, and I was like, Can we do this anonymously? Because I don't need the Olympians mad at me again. But if it helps you to know your Greek gods, and survive an encounter with them if they ever show up in your face, then I guess writing all this down will be my good deed for the week. So begins Percy Jackson's Greek Gods, in which the son of Poseidon adds his own magic--and sarcastic asides--to the classics. He explains how the world was created, then gives readers his personal take on a who's who of ancients, from Apollo to Zeus. Percy does not hold back. If you like horror shows, blood baths, lying, stealing, backstabbing, and cannibalism, then read on, because it definitely was a Golden Age for all that.